Not another mid life crisis!

Three things:
What constitutes a mid life crisis?
When is it acceptable to claim you are having one?
How many are you allowed?

I ask these questions as my hubby and other friend's hubbies have had a few mini ones. Most of them being the purchase of a soft top convertible. The best was the hubby who bought the two seater.  Another question. Where do the kids sit? My husband's have probably been tiny, like a string of quarter crises all building up for the major one. I await with baited breath! I love these Ladybird books and need to get this one!

Aye. No convertible on our drive as yet! Watch this space! Instead we have had the metal detector phase, brought about by hubby losing his wedding ring twice and finding it with his cousin's metal detector. We've walked miles with this new toy. Mainly beaches in the pouring rain but it's all worth it for the glory of the prize at the end! We do have a giggle when we line up the treasures of the morning: button, ring pull, bottle top, 2p, 10p and a rusty nail. Joking aside though, it's good exercise and his new love got us watching Deep Digger Dan on You Tube who has fun trailing the East Coast coves and inlets. Even better, it got us watching the comedy, The Detectorists which is so funny.

Second mini crisis resulted in the purchase of a more hi-tech, state of the art telescope. This machine went with us on a fab glamping trip to North Yorkshire. Bearing in mind, I'd already seen Venus twice and was sitting rather comfortably with glass of wine in one hand and bag of nuts in the other, when I was summoned to see Venus once again. Turning to my friend, I asked her, very politely if she wouldn't mind humouring my hubby. In my opinion, it's all a bit abstract to me. This is a very ignorant view, I know, but I'm more interested in things nearer I can touch and smell. Said friend did oblige and was suitably impressed.
Back home, however, I do advise on which window the telescope peers out of as I'd like us to stay on good terms with our neighbours. Hubby has an observatory app that lets him know of meteor showers and other fab stuff and has me getting up in the middle of the night, peering out of the window, looking into thin air. I'd love to know the pet name our neighbours have for us!
I must profess here that I have just as many habits as he, but his are funnier! Then came the bat detector. Seriously. Still no convertible!!! Apparently, overusing exclamation marks is wrong as one is powerful enough. I love overusing them! I shared with an ex teacher friend the other day, the relief of not worrying about your use of colons and semi colons when you stop teaching. I'm a new woman for it! Anyway, apparently, we have a lot more bats around our area than I thought. And of different species too! I have always found them quite cute and furry and love how they sleep. Going back to the semi colons though, I'm now finding an overuse of commas. Help!
So. Back to my initial questions. What is a mid life crisis? I thought I'd do a bit of research. I was kind of thinking I didn't like the negative connotations of the word crisis so was happy when I read the following quote:

I like the idea of unravelling and becoming something new. It reminds me of the Margaret Atwood novel, The Edible Woman. We can be oranges, peeling away the unwanted pips and rind of everyday life ti leave the sweet, juicy bits in the centre. Or maybe detox our lives and have a grand reveal!
I also was in agreement with this line of thinking:

There's no clear pathway in life and just because it hasn't turned out like the clairvoyant told me it would at St Paul's Summer Fair, it's still moving on that flight path! I was to marry a policeman and be a teacher!
Apparently, we've already had a quarter crisis but I must have missed that!

As young adults we make so many plans as we look into the future. I fulfilled my main aim to be a teacher but now I've left the profession, I feel in limbo. That decision was definitely a mid life ... readjustment shall we call it? I'd seen too many changes and it wasn't the same profession I'd entered as a passionate NQT years ago. I suppose my crisis was a bit bigger than ordering a new telescope and it had more consequences. I know it was the right thing but losing your professional identity is hard to deal with. Also, the financial side of it is a worry too. But heath comes first above everything.

I love this quote but instead of hair extensions and a car, I want to the my hair purple and to get three tattoos. I'm going to see how painful the first one is and maybe just have one! Hubby was a bit surprised I'm having a tattoo with our doggie's name. Like, we've been married how long? We've had a dog how long? Hence the third tattoo!

Midlife is about taking stock of where you are and what you have. You do make so many plans and have so many expectations of where you should be in your 40s and 50s. But like most plans, a lesson plan or a birthing plan, life happens and veers you off at a tangent. You spend ages fighting to get back on the right track only to realise that obviously wasn't meant for you. Finding peace with where you are and rolling with it is the best thing ever. We spend so long in our teens and early twenties striving for something we feel we'll always be that when that picture crumbles, we're not sure who we are anymore. Again, take stock and paint another picture.
I loved watching the Shirley Valentine film with mum. People used to say, "I'm going to do a Shirley Valentine!" None of them did. It's just nice to know that option's there!

Midlife is being in the middle. Too old for most things and too young for others. That's how it sometimes feels. Like being in limbo. Too young to retire but absolutely shattered working the full time job and juggling everything in life. I've heard many a colleague wishing their working life away and counting down the days till retirement. Midlife is a struggle of wanting to go back and relive your youth and being at an age where folk are thinking, they should know better.
The problem is when your body ages much faster than your mind. My body would pass for 60 something at the mo but my mind is as bright as a button, still clubbing in Regent's Park! Keep learning and have an open mind so your mind stats young.

I was very fortunate to have young minded grandparents and great aunt and uncles, playing rounders and cricket with us on the Green, singing and dancing with us at family parties and tripping off on the coach to Blackpool Tower. That's how I want to be. Like the fabulous Golden Girls on telly. Age really is just the number of years you've lived. Forget that and let your hair down!

I suppose having a group of old school friends keeps you young thinking. We might all meet up and complain about our aches and pains but it's like we're back in the late 80s, doing each other's hair and makeup, drinking Hooch and giggling about our latest crush whilst listening to Madonna! I feel fortunate to have old and new friends, the best of both worlds!

The best thing I can recommend for midlife is to get yourself a dog. This is the best thing we have done in ages. It's given us a new lease of life! We've always been animal lovers and loved our little hamster to bits but we weren't expecting to love our new, little puppy this much! She is so friendly and cute with so much energy and love to give everyone.

The other thing I would highly recommend is joining a choir, or any club that suits your talents. I love singing and love singing in a choir. I've met so many lovely people through this. People who are on your wavelength. I was asked if I was soprano or alto. I answered alto as everything moves South in older age. Actually, I'm now a mezzo so perhaps things, and my chest are looking up!
I enjoy rehearsals and doing gigs, singing outside. I especially loved Choirfest and Live in Barnsley, singing to Oasis and Queen while I was in Local Vocals. People stopped and started singing along with you which is so uplifting and makes me so happy. I'm now in Barnsley Singers and very excited about our upcoming concert. I love singing Hallelujah with them
I had goosebumps when I first sang it with them. Powerful stuff!

Oh. And start eating humous! Huge amounts of it! Get your vegetable crudites and dip them in your humous! Glass of wine to go with the humous is recommended too. This quote does sum me up when I'm in Sainsburys and I see the Moroccan topped humous. Excitement overload!
I think the best thing to do is forgive yourself for where you are. Stop beating yourself up if you've made a U turn or an emergency stop. Stop over analysing the past. That's done. Get yourself back on that horse and start again! And when life throws you lemons, as in the quote, chuck them in a glass of gin and tonic with ice! Be at peace with yourself. Then you can be at peace with others around you.

I've enjoyed writing this blog and my parting thoughts centre on this marvellous quote. If you have a wobble and wonder why you haven't been promoted yet or aren't earning as much as you hoped you were by this age. If you are living month to month or wondering when the next family holiday may be or the next time you can update your car or even get that bottle of expensive Gucci perfume, just think of this quote. Think of everything you experienced. Think of all the memories with your lovely family and friends. Collect moments, not things. Appreciate the wonderful people you are surrounded with and feel truely blessed.


  1. Brilliant and True!!!! Good health comes first. Things only give short term happiness.

  2. Absolutely! Glad you enjoyed reading it!

  3. Brilliant I love this! So true and yet so funny too! You’re a tonic! 🥰❤️

  4. It was a tonic writing it! Thank you.

  5. You were right. It's great. I love it. You sing? ☺️

  6. Aww. Thank you! I love singing. I was in Local Vocals and now I'm in Barnsley Singers!


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