Fashion faux pas!

I should have a degree in these! Anybody who knows me know I do try; I just don't always get it! I've always been the same! Only difference is, you get away with slightly more when you are thinner. That's just my humble opinion obviously!

I've never been a trend setter or worn things that are in season. Makes me think of a she dog that phrase now! In fact, when my friend showed me her vacuum packed Summer clothes she'd got out ready for Summer, obviously, I was aghast that someone could have the time, energy and forethought to do such a thing! The only nod I give to that philosophy is putting my Winter boots in my wardrobe and getting out my flip flops. That reminds me of this fab quote!

My wardrobe. Well, what can I say? When I see those walk in wardrobes, I know I'd only fill a quarter. The rest would be filled with books! I'd rather keep my old coat and buy bew books!

My wardrobe does not work seasonally, but annually. It's not colour or item co-ordinated. It does look like Narnia could be hidden behind boxes of crap though!

It makes me laugh when I hear myself and other friends say we have nothing to wear. Well, we do; we have a wardrobe full. We just don't have anything to for our mood at that moment!

I could do with one of those Life Laundry people who bounce in, throw things away and come back in a month to find you have just filled the empty places yet again. These programmes fascinate me because, given a chance, I could be on one myself. I am not saying this lightly. I am a sentimental hoarder. I have worked hard in the past few years to question if I need certain clothes that don't fit and sentimental items. I am working on decluttering also. They say a cluttered house is a cluttered mind! It works with everything though on life and I love this quote:

Back to fashion faux pas. Another programme I would have benefited from was What not to wear with Trinny and Susannah! When I sat and thought of them, I went from head to toe. When I was younger and my friends called for me to go to school, I'd be walking out of the house, moisturising my face and still have it on that I'd not rubbed in, or have toothpaste down my top. Not much changed really! Even now, I find I'm putting the new liquid eyeshadow on my lips and it tastes disgusting! I've often got lipstick on my teeth. This reminds me of this funny quote:

Talking of liquid eyeshadow, one of the worst faux pas I ever did was when I was doing my A levels at college. Sorry in advance for this oversharing, but I kind of got some Canesten cream in my left eye and had an allergic reaction. It looked horrendous and did appear to others in the social area at break that I'd been in a fight. For once my memory actually fails me when I try to remember my response to that conversation! It didn't help when, a few months later, a littlr girl in the Sunday School I helped at, ran up to me, head bumped me and left me with a black eye. It kind of added to my new found notoriety.
Earrings are such a fab invention! Even though I've worn odd earrings a few times, or just one earring! I remember looking in the mirror one dinnertime at work and realising my earings were the same colour but different lengths. Surely someone had noticed! That brought about a massive conversation about other teachers who'd gone to work with different shoes. One teacher said she'd worn the same style flats but one blue and one brown. Then she went onto say she'd once worn a flat shoe and a high heel for a few hours. She wins me! This quote makes me laugh. I used to get home and think this a few times!

I do love earrings though. Mainly because they can be anything. When I was a student, I loved my Bertie Bassett earings that looked like he was made from liquorice all sorts. I love craft fairs with hand made earrings but also the Pilgrim and Danon earrings too. A friend I worked with always wore very interesting earrings which suited her brilliant, interesting character! Another good reason to love earrings is, whatever shop you go in, you know there will be a pair to fit you. When I've walked into Top shop or Warehouse, I've walked straight past the clothes to the jewellery! I don't even like changing rooms and trying on anymore. The One Size fits all dresses and long tops are fab. I have only bought a few that resemble a tent! Back to earrings, I love these I spotted on Pinterest!

I am known for having tags and labels sticking out of tops. I always have the piece of material hanging out at the back of my top. In fact, one headtecher I had, used to follow me down the corridor before staff brief in and push it back in for me! I'm sure staff brief in was just to check I was fully dressed and in a good state to welcome parents! I've worn my tops inside out and back to front so many times until someone's noticed! I bought a one size long top a bit ago and wore these bits of material hanging out. My sister in law politely told me these flaps needed pushing back in as they were supposed to be pockets! Aaah! I've done that much I forget some of the stuff. Mum reminded me the other day of when I was wearing a new dress and set the alarm off. I was only wearing the security tag! I thought one side felt heavier!
Every one has fashion faux pas with tights. Surely? I've only recently found a pair that stay up all day! New Look! I've had many a trip to my stock room at work to pull my tights up in peace! White pants and black tights. When will I learn? The times I've accidentally shown off a flash of gusset. And not in a Chicago sexy way either! Type in tights on Pinterest and do many funny pictures comes up! I love this picture from 20 reasons tights should be made illegal.

Due to there being so many pictures, I have had to add this one too. So true!

Moving onto leggings. My all time fave comfort clothing. I have them in nearly every colour! And now, jeggings also! This quote always make me laugh because it's so true!

Underwear always brings about fashion faux pas big time! Like wearing the same size bra for years, when you are obviously gaining weight. Mum tactfully mentioned we go for a bra fitting together. My goodness! How those ladies kept a straight face when they told me the bra size I should have been wearing! Or scaffolding size, should I say?
I'm sure everyone has had that moment at the Swimming baths when you realise you haven't packed your pants? A tip here. Do not go to the toilets and start air drying your already flimsy costume, having to act as a scaffold as well as being waterproof! I have had so many Ooops  moments in my life. This was one of them! I only went and burnt a massive hole in it, so couldn't wear that to go home!
I think some of us British are still quite stiff upper lipped about discussing bras and pants. They obviously haven't had a visit to Barnsley Market and the marvellous Pat's for Pants stall! I sometimes cover awkward moments with humour and a few weeks ago, at M & S, I spotted some pyjamas and a pair of lovely pants in the sale for my daughter. Then I saw the same in my size! My Lord. At the till, it was pretty obvious I'd got the wrong size and really should have gone to Specsavers! On my explanation, I thought I'd get a smile, a grin, a laugh maybe? Hmmmm. No. Which just made it all the more awkward! In fact, I love this quote. A smile. One Size fits all. A smile is universal and catching.

Socks. I'm known as Odd Sock Annie at home. What happens to the poor, missing socks? I do put a good deal of thinking into co-ordibating my oddness and make sure stripes go together, and spots and so on. I once said this to my head teacher, who looked at me with a mixture of respect and possibly regret that she'd given me the job! Only joking! I always wear odd socks on Odd Sock Day for Autism and co led the assembly on this last year. I proudly showed them off, pointing out, we are all differently but work together well.

I used to do heels, loving the block heels. That was until I fell out of my shoe, then a minibus and broke my wrist. I tend to stick to flats now! I also fell out of a miniature train and broke my high heeled boot, and my big toe too. Yes. There is a pattern! I'm thinking these high heeled crocs will help solve my clumsiness and I can still say I'm wearing heels!

One of the funniest things was when I slipped my shoe off at a coffee morning and just gasped at my orange toes. Why were they orange? My friend couldn't get over it too. It proper bugged me all day and I couldn't shower the orange off. I was so worried until I mentioned to my friend it had rained the day before. Turns out, the metal on my bow got wet and rusty and rubbed onto my toes. I was proper freaked out!
I love my accessories and I have a variety of bags and purses. They don't really match and I'm not into designer. I love shopping at TK Maxx and grabbing a bargain! The only designer bags I have are under my eyes!

This next quote really puts a smile on my face. Our lovely friends and family are accessorues. One of the best things I can have on my arm isn't a designer handbag but my mum instead!

I could not end my list of faux pas without mentioning hats. It is well known that I've grown out of the Debbie Gibson stage of hats looking great on me. A few years ago, I was in Cornwall with my sister in law and her sister who really rock hats. I bought this straw hat and photo bombed the photo, looking quite confused. My friend's friends on Facebook were asking if she knew the confused woman in the background.
"Know her? I'm on holiday with her!"
Said friend was in a wetsuit at the time so I coined it that Miss Marple was photo bombing Pamela Anderson!
I have a few more faux pas I have yet to complete. Still haven't done the fur coat, no knickers and luckily, for hubby, I don't intend to!
Just thought I couldn't end this blog without a quick homage to the fashion I loved in the 80s and 90s. My 70s fashion is a bit of a blur, apart from the poloneck jumpers with cotton dresses, rushed at the front and all itchy. These school photos with my big brother trying to get me to sit and our matching basin haircuts. Hilarious!
I absolutely loved 80s fashion and me, my sister in law and her sister still wear 80s stuff now! Especially the denim and double denim! I loved the ra ra dresses, the puff ball skirts, the wraparound skirts and all the lace. The Hankie tops, hot pants and dungarees. I loved them all. I had my own style made up of Madonna, Debbie Gibson and student grunge. I loved shopping at Chelsea Girl, Etam and Tammy Girl. C & A was a firm favourite with my gran and I'd love going to the one in the Ridings. Dolcis too for shoes.

The accessories were fab too, especially the jelly bags and shoes in the 80s. We'd hang keyrings on them.

In the 90s, on a Wednesday student night I loved wearing my red dockers, velvet skirts and Indie tops from the Pentangle shop. Then I'd have chunky heels, hot pants and a lacy top on for a Friday. I was still the same person. You choose what you wear and when. There should be no rules. In the words of the great Nirvana:


  1. Soo funny! Loved it!!

  2. Thank you! I'm sure we all have had some fashion ooops moments!


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