I'm Every Woman!

Sitting in a cafe, singing along absentmindedly to an 80s song, and suddenly, inspiration strikes.
"I'm Every Woman. It's all in me."

Lightbulb moment. Thankyou Shaka Kahn, you amazing 80s pop queen you. That's what that song meant all along! It's only taken me 25 years or so to figure that out!
This happens a lot from music and lyrics of the 70s, 80s and 90s! Either because I was too young and just garbled out the chorus, parroting my parents, as in 'Wig Wam Bam!' Then Oh. That's what they were doing down by the silver stream. This made me question the lyrics of many other 80s songs like 'Agga Do' and 'Music Man'! So were they really pushing pineapples and shaking trees or was that a euphemism? Also, because I do tend to make words and lyrics up and once they're stuck, they're stuck! As with Keane's Oh Sympathy. I started singing it with my choir and realised it was actually "Oh simple things". This reminds me of my tendency to text too quickly and tell someone our choir were singing about simple thongs! Anyway, lastly, I probably didn't always get subliminal messages in older songs because due to the large intake of Aftershocks and Mad Dogs during that time!
Back to trying to be 'every woman'. We all do it. Some do it with much more flair and apparent ease. Others, like me do it and make it pretty obvious that the sorting the washing out that morning came before sorting out our make up and hair. Back to the quote. I might do things naturally but not straight away. I have an automatic, "In a minute dear!" answer to whenever anyone calls me, and it's an unspoken thing that the household know I mean 5 minutes! Mostly due to the fact I get sidetracked and go off at weird tangents!
I love that Sarah Jessica Parker film, ' How does she do it?' because I genuinely want to know how for goodness sake! Answers on a postcard please for a Blue Peter badge.

My mental checklist goes something like this:
Mum of dog and fish (can't leave them out!)
Housewife (different to the first role)
Career woman (in limbo but ready to restart!)
Choir member
Coffee/Tea taster
Procrastinator (Champion's League)
I love that I can write the blogger bit down! Is that enough roles? I do miss not being able to put granddaughter too anymore.
Is that a good ratio for roles to hours in a day? Perhaps not. Although this next quote suggests we have the same amount of time as the brilliant Beyonce!

I love 'Superwoman' by the talented Alicia Keys. This Pinterest art of her lyrics says it all.

We are all wearing an invisible 'S' on our chests, everyday we get up! Makes me think of the group, S Express! And our kryptonite is probably wine or gin! Or both!
The problem comes when we are perfectionists and eager to get everything and every role right, every day. Well, we are not robots and  something has to give. Especially in a career like mine, teaching, where there is too much emphasis on being observed, scrutinised and labelled. I once said to a manager I was better at do the do, not talk the talk. She assured me that was the best by far. Turns out I needed to talk the talk too! It's fine if you are one of those folk who welcome in yet another suited person with clipboard, ready to tick boxes that the creative teacher might not fit in. I've not taught in over a year now, yet I am still dreaming of the Ofsted inspector walking in and me calmly telling him I am not ready to be onserved today and kindly escorting him out! Even the word 'scrutinise' sounds terrible. Those poor books, being scrutinised again! I veered off there. Clearly not come to terms with that yet then!
It's also about your face fitting, or not, in this modern day and age. I think what you struggle with, in any workplace, is when you are new and feel like a refreshing breath of fresh air, to suddenly perhaps being too much refreshment! You yourself haven't changed, so it makes you doubt yourself and your worth.
I imagine if I was to plot my roles on a spreadsheet like the dreaded data, I wouldn't come out looking too good on paper. I definitely think outside the box and do not stay within the lines!

I have to remind myself of the nonstatiscal evidence that shows I'm actually doing ok: the anniversary card on the mantlepiece; the lovely teenager's school report; the appreciation of a mum who loves me no matter what I do; the favourite framed photo of me and my amazing brother; the hugs and thanks from parents and kids as I left my last teaching job; the Special Friend candle burning brightly and the excitement of my dog, wagging its tail as I walk in the room.
I said earlier, something has to give. In my case it was my health, then my career. I'm slowly getting both back! We must stop feeling like we've failed. We must concentrate on everything we are doing, daily, with all our hearts. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others because no one else is living our life. We need to do more of the following: pat ourselves on the back, look in the mirror and smile back at the reflection; be proud of what we managed to fit into that day; ease off on that feeling of guilt; tell each other how well we're doing; laugh at ourselves; remember how far we've come and lastly- make time for ourselves. Put yourself on that list of things to be looked after. No one is perfect; perfect is boring!
Another problem faced, and I've spoken to friends who feel this quite a bit- feeling unappreciated at times. I suppose we all have times we feel it in this busy day and age when perhaps people need to show their appreciation more. Sometimes, family members get that used to mums in particular doing stuff all the time and it can be taken for granted. I now realise that I did that with my own parents sometimes. Well we are appreciated, it's just not always verbalised! It makes me laugh when I thank hubby for emptying the bin for me. For me? For us! I'm just programmed into saying thanks a lot!
This quote can be true sometimes. It even bugs me when I don't get thanked for holding a door open! Lol!

I saw this quote and took it to mean enjoy all of life. Everything. Then I thought you could use it for enjoying all of the different people you are.

You only see yourself as you. You are with 'you' all of the time. Sometimes you need to step back and be wowed by yourself and what you are managing. Give yourself that praise you so readily give to others.  Refind that magic sparkle you once had. It's underneath; you may just need the top layer of dust brushing off to find it! We are just us to us but to everyone else, we are all things. Everyone views us that little bit differently.
Saying that, I was taken aback the other day when I told my friend how much I admired and was inspired by a mutual friend. She answered that the very lady had said the same about me! Apparently, my blogs had inspired her and it gave me a very warm feeling to know that!
This is another good quote in helping you to come to terms with the fact we aren't perfect, we can't be liked by every one and we're not always seen positively by everyone. Someone's version of you will be different to someone else's.

The main thing to remember is, get up everyday with a thankful heart, smile and try your very best, knowing there's always a bottle of chilled wine in the fridge waiting for you when you get home. Just concentrate on yourself and not on what others are doing around you. Try not to be influenced by others who are trying to bring you down. Easier said than done!

I've also stopped feeling I have to justify things to folk. If people are making you feel like you need to justify your choices and actions, keep them guessing!

I do wear my heart on my sleeve and feel I need to offer unecessary info about stuff. I need to take a compliment about my dress without the need to say it was in the sale.
"Only a fiver!"
Or, when I can't do something or go somewhere, I give an essay as to why. All you to do is say no. I absolutely love this quote!

I'm not advocating here, to just start gping around and saying no to folk brfore they've asked you to do something! Just don't frel bad for making the decision.
Remember also, that we are all in it together. I love this quote. How easy is it to compliment another woman? Your compliment might just make her day!

Support each other. This next quote it so thought provoking. Love my quotes!

Ending on a positive note, I'm off to wash, dry, iron and put away my Superwoman vest and cape all in one day. Who does that? Who actually washes, dries, irons and puts away their washing in one day? Is there such a species? This quote tickled me!

This quote too!

Seriously, I'm not ironing my cape. I'm actually rewriting my To Do List from yesterday and updating it for tomorrow. I've managed to tick three things off and the rest go on to the next day. I am happy with myself that I've been successful in ticking off my list. I find it helps if I write things like:
Clip my nails
Shave my chin
Finish off that tub of Pringles
Hee hee!
Remember that whoever you are, it is up to you. You decide who you want to be. Don't let people try to make you feel you aren't good enough because you are.

I've let this happen in the past, trying to mould myself into something I can't be. Towards the end of my career, I'd start my day very optimistic or extremely optimistic, depending on how many coffees I'd managed to have! I'd be like, you've got this! Then one wrong sentence or look and the doubt would just seep back in. Well not anymore. Self doubt is one of the worst things you can have but it's so easy to have! We need to top up our self belief levels. You haven't changed what you were going to do that day just because someone criticises you. I had so much self belief as a kid and a teenager that I took it for granted. We need to believe in ourselves, then others will follow!

It started waning in my 20s to where I was desperately seeking it by 40, like Madonna seeking Susan. We're good at hiding though, remember! Never mind the saying, life begins at 40. More like, self doubt begins at 40. Well stop it now and and in the words of the fabulous Journey,
"Don't stop believing!"
If it's good enough for Glee, it's good enough for us!


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