No Regrets

This is actually one of my fave Robbie Williams songs, along with 'Love Supreme'. Good advice. I've always loved the soulful 'Non. Je ne regrette rien'.

I love my inspirational quotes and I love this one. When you are wondering about your past and may be feeling you might have wasted time on certain things and made perhaps, not very wise choices, it kind of reminds you, they were good at that moment in time. It made you smile at the time!

This is the same with mistakes we make, or wrong turns we take. If we don't do these things, we can't appreciate it when we det it right! One of my biggest learning curves, and I've had a few, was when I naively decided to do a modular degree in all my three A Level subjects. What was I thinking? It was way too much and I left after a term and came back home. I felt like I was letting people down but I was supported by everyone. I felt I wouldn't be able to get back on the horse, as they say and I felt I'd ruined my chances. This was not helped by the fact I had to go back to sixth form to meet some lovely tutors who were fab, but I bumped into another on the corridor who said I was a silly girl and left me even more downhearted.
This next quote fits what happened bext perfectly. I took this time out to reassess my studies. I started working at Mcdonalds, which I loved and I made friends for life. But also, I looked at the positives of my experience at Derby university. My fave lessons were Literacy and I loved the modern poetry the most. I went on to do an English studies degree, writing modern poetry and I absolutely loved it. It was my so called 'mistake that found me my love of poetry and my favourite novel ever, Cat's Eye. You can start again. I am proof!

Twenty years on and I'm at another cross roads of my life. I feel I'm stuck with a degree and qualifications I can't use. I've been reminded though of my experience and skills so can transfer and I'm looking now on this time out as a time to recover, recuperate and start afresh. You are never too old for a new start. I am nervous but also excited for my new career and next move.

I love the idea that life is a series of events that aren't necessarily in a straight, easy line. We veer off, get distracted, even go backwards but we are able to get back on it. I have to remind myself I still have 20 years left of my career and even though I loved teaching, it's time to see what else I can do!

When I read this next quote, I had to sing the words. They are the words of a fool and I've been using them too long, over this past year especially. I kind of got stuck in this mindset of I shouldn't have done this, I could have done that and I wish I had said that. It doesn't get you anywhere though. It just feeds into the long, painful self destruction that is so easy to get into but very hard to escape. With support from fab family and friends, and writing this blog, I'm learning to change my use of mental vocabulary shall we say? I'm changing my inner thoughts and Coula, Woulda, Shoulda are going out the window! Ironically, these are modal or helping verbs in Grammar. Well, they weren't helping me one bit!
Now, instead of reliving events and experiences with a sigh of, why did I let thar happen, I now think. Well, it happened. So be it. Move on. We put a lot of emphasis on everything being our fault and blame ourselves for letting things happen but the best thing we can do is realise that actually, many things are out of our control. When you realise that, things do seem easier.
We all live with What ifs? Again, they are empty and waste our energy. I'm looking more to the future now and actually enjoying being more present in the present! The past is a lovely thing when you are recalling lovely memories and reminiscing but not if you are letting it taunt you into keeping you feeling you are not good enough.

Everybody makes mistakes. It would be very boring if we didn't. The trick is to move on from these mistakes and learn from them. We shouldn't let ourselves be defined by them. I'd rather try sonething and get it wrong than not try it. And anyone who clearly enjoys reminding you of these belongs in your past too.

I feel that we are diffetent people throughput our lives. That 17 year old who made a dodgy decision but it was right for them at the time isn't the 40 odd year old now. How can we question ourselves for decisions made nearly 30 years ago when we thought and looked differently?
We need encoragers in our lives. It is easy to be a criticiser but like I said, no one is perfect. I loved the marking method of two stars and a wish when I was marking children's writing. We didn't want to appear negative; we wanted to encourage their skills and kindly guide them on what they could improve on. It's about seeing the good first, then the improvement needed. How lovely if we did this with adults too when we were speaking to them? Everybody needs a sticker and a pat on the back every now and then!

In fact, when you look at the definition  of an encourager, they are someone who lifts the spirit of others. Just in a sentence. Be the person who sees something good in someone and says it, no matter how big or small. It could be a compliment to their hair( I did this to my nurse at the docs the other day) or praising a colleague for something that did well that day. It might not seem much to you but to them, it could mean a lot.

The main thing is to encourage yourself and be your own biggest fan. Snap out of the daily/weekly ritual of not feeling good enough or that you've let yourself and others down. Imagine you are at the gym and you are getting on that positive treadmill and you're going somewhere. It has to be imagination as I have a terrible track record for falling off treadmills and stepping machines and tripping over rowing machines. My hubby got fed up of having to come for me to pick me up!
I've started using the 'One day at a time' advice and it is amazing. Little steps. What's great too is remembering not to let any rubbish from yesterday carry on over to tomorrow. Again, we do this with our school children. Any child on the Amber or Red traffic lights, gets to start anew again the next day on Green. We need to do this as adults.

We need to be kinder to ourselves. Be as kind to us as we are to others. We need to allow ourselves to break or come off the track a little to actually come back ready and refreshed.

As I look to the future, I have to remember that things may go wrong but in the same way, they could go right! Hope on to that you thought and go for it!

My friend posts a lot of Painted Bear prints with quotes and this one is perfect.

Many of us live by plans and To Do lists. These are good unless you are like me! I write lists and forget where I've put them or let the long list overwhelm me so I actually go pick up a book to read instead! Plans are great and it's good to have a vision of what you want to do and where you want to be in 5, 10 years. However, just like a birthing plan, we need to remember how flexible these life plans need to be. If we get stuck on wanting something or wanting to be something that is clearly not happening, we need to see that that may have been for us before, but not now and it's ok to veer off slightly down another path. Just breathe, take a step and see where thar first step takes you!


  1. No Regrets! Could be the title of your book! Or On The Road to Recovery! Put all your blogs together and you would have a great book. Keep blogging!

  2. This is so true we have to move on in a positive way.


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