Live the Pooh way

The mother of all hoods!

I thought I'd make this a fun, yet thought provoking blog about the many sides of motherhood. Little did I foresee how emotional I would get researching this subject on Pinterest! I already had tears in my eyes in the first few minutes with quotes like these! Especially the last bit! We definitely view ourselves differently to how our children do. We place too much pressure on ourselves, way too much. But who is it for? Are our kids any happier if we have waxed our legs and been to the gym that morning? I really doubt it. They're probably glad you decided to spend that time playing an extra round of Pop to the blooming shops, again! Notice the rewording there! This is one of those quotes I wish I'd read a long time ago. So new mums- read these quotes!
We do spend time worrying as mums that we are doing it right. There is no set rule book. This quote is very reassuring and should be read and reread throughout the year!

From my experience of motherhood, a lot of it is suck it and see. And hiding how you nervous, scared and unsure we are in some situations.

Although this next quote made me laugh!  Must be doing something right then!

What we need to remember is we are all different. If each child is unique, then surely each parenting experience is unique. I love the end of this quote. You are the one going on your path. Let others concentrate on their own.

This next quote is so true. As women especially, a lot of us have a tendency to compare ourselves with other women. And not just in the parenting department. As girlfriends, wives, daughters and best friends too. It's human nature. When we are comparing though, we tend to focus on everything others are getting right but when we think of ourselves, we concentrate more on what we are getting wrong. It's good to remember that others have hard days, and get past them too.

Whenever I have had a harder day, I think of the quote from my favourite Anne of Green Gables. Going to sleep on a problem and waking up fresh definitely helps.

I've tried to approach life and motherhood in a non judgemental way. Sometimes, I've bit my tongue when I see little ones with an IPad shoved in front of them whilst in their high chair and no conversation. On the whole though, I know no one is perfect and there is no perfect parent so just let folk get on with it. Some people do, however, have an opinion on absolutely everything and give you it whether you want it or not!

I think the best thing to do as a parent is not to compare. We'd all crack under the pressure. So what if your child is having beans on toast and not the wholesome Annabel Karmel meal like the children next to you? My main thing was bedtime times, literally having an Owl baby for a baby! I'd start by making it up because I didn't want other mums thinking I was too soft or not up to the job. After a bit, I started telling the truth and did get shocked looks of disbelief. On my part though, I felt relief. We'd tried the bed at 7 routine and ours would see this as a cat nap, then be up for half the night! We did it our way, best for baby and then it worked. Follow your gut instinct. This quote was so written with me in mind!

We mums do get a lot of help from coffee, not forgetting wine and gin also! I remember this wall sign in a pub in London with coffee for am and wine for pm. I'd love that on my kitchen wall!

This next quote just says it all! Vaguely rembering those earlier days as a mixture of shock, anxiety, excitement, joy and sleepless nights, coffee really did need to be in the plan. In fact, I can't even remember my birthing plan. I must have had one! I would now add painkillers and strong coffee by the bucket load to said plan!

It's great being a parent to be. You're a bit like a virtual parent; you have it all figured out what you are going to do and how you are going to do it, or not do it! Then, along comes baby and plans like the breastfeeding for a year, at least, go out of the window! I'd this preconceived image in my head, of myself as a mum and I was trying desparately to be this person. My health visitor was amazing and reassured me, telling me it was more important that I had my health. You need straight talking people at times like that! You need to let go of the notion of what you think you should be doing. Just go with the flow!

I think most of us create a picture of how it will be and how we will be but then we read quotes like this next one and totally identify with them! Everybody loves that advert in the supermarket when the mum starts a full blown tantrum in front of her kids. Classic!

I started following the marvellously honest and funny facebook page of Scummy Mummies after seeing them live at The Civic. I wish they'd been sharing their hilarious anecdotes when I was a new mum. We laughed until our sides hurt when we saw them live. The songs about wine at birthday parties, play areas and the PTA were so funny! Keep it real!

Speaking of the PTA. How amazing are they? I had good friends on the PTA at my child's school and my goodness! They were brilliant! I love this quote from Pinterest. They do make such a difference, a lot of the time, working behind the scenes too.

I volunteered and helped with reading instead when I worked part time. I remembered my cooking burgers skills from Mcdonalds so figured I'd be more of a hindrance with refreshments at the Summer fair, than a help! If I had have been in the PTA, this quote would most definitely apply to me!

I loved being a Primary school mum, especially when I was part time as I could be more hands on then. We were really lucky with the cohort of children and parents in the class that managed to stay as that class all the way through to Year 6. I remember reading a fab article years ago about what kind of school mum you thought you were. There were a few I remember: the organised PTA mum of course; the designer mum with her designer carrier bags (I bought a loaf of bread from Harrod's Food Hall once just for the bag); the hippy, Bohemian mum who is always smiling benevolently, even when their children are sent out late, yet again for the third time this week; the gym mum who turns up clad in gym gear at 9, on their way to the gym; the onesie  and Ugg boots mum (a real species I can vouch for); the working mum who didn't have time to read the letter folded up in the book bag about bringing a raffle prize (guilty of that and more) and lastly, the last minute.com mum who thinks they have so much longer on a morning to get everyone ready that they start a load of washing or cleaning the bathroom, only to scream, "We're going to be late again!" at the top of their lungs.

I have been a few of those above parents, but mainly the last one! Myself and another parent would meet on the lane, rushing in, asking if they'd forgotten something too and feeling reassured to find out the other had! The joys of being a working mum! I take my hat off to you all! Saying that, I know stay at home women who have said they really miss going out to their job and speaking to adults all day. Whether, stay at home or working, it's like you need to be put on the time out step just so you can have a moment to yourself!

This next quote reminded me of myself a few years ago and I'm still cramming in 'my telly' now! It would be about 10 o'clock when I sat down and put on a CSI or a Law and Order, to fall asleep ten minutes in. I'd keep rewaking and rewinding until I gave up and went to bed! Or together, we'd watch a Sopranos or True Detective, hoping not to be disturbed!

This is real. We wonder why we are continually shattered when the answer is easy. In my mum's words we are "burning the candle at both ends" and then wonder why we are constantly feeling frazzled! It's a mental battle in your head, especially on a weekend when the 20 something you would have been nightclubbing. Do I go to bed now and get that much needed beauty sleep or do I go back downstairs, pour a glass of chilled Chardonnay and watch something that would be classed as 'past the watershed'? I always opted for the chardonnay, rose, or whatever was in the fridge but then regretted it in the morning when a toddler was pressing Happyland figures up to my face, wanting two hours of role play because she knew mummy was great at this, being a teacher! I did love all the figures but my favourite were La La Loopsies. Each one came with a cute pet and it was a little worrying how myself and a few other friends got so excited when we played with them! Alongside our children of course! We played with a lot of the Orchard Toys games which are amazing. This quote made me laugh though.

I love this next quote too as it rings true as an ex teacher. How many cold half cups of coffee have I sipped in my adult life?

One thing though, it keeps you fit, that constant getting up and sitting down with this naive notion you are going to have a hot cup of coffee, a whole custard cream and read at least one article of Grazia before your name is called!

The camarerdie between school mums is so important; you are all in it together. I love that these you can text them for help at the eleventh hour and the help is there; we all help each other. My motto was to just get on with everybody. I'm really not into drama. I remember a friend talking about the little clique of our year group (parents, not kids). I just looked at her, momentarily stepping out of the bubble I like to live in and asked her what clique? She just laughed and said I obviously wasn't in it then! Actually, when I read this quote, it took me back and I really have to agree about the camaraderie between girls/ladies in a toilet when you are all feeling squiffy and queuing up for what feels like hours. Some female bonding goes on in those queues!

The funniest thing I remember, even though very stressful at the time,was being a member of the prom committee, or end of school party! It meant a lot to me because I wanted it to go well but perhaps some mums were expecting more organisation from me, me being a teacher and all. Well, two things. One, I was better organised between the clocked on hours of 9 till 5 and two, we held our committee meetings in a pub, filled with distractions of the liquid variety! So, on our first meeting, I was rather startled when the mind map came out and proceedings began. Basically, I went to the bar for a bag of crisps and a glass of wine and when I got back, I'd been placed in charge of the Limousine. I should have known when I got home and hubby told me I'd drawn the short straw, that this was not going to be easy!
Joking aside, I loved being in the prom team and we all worked hard to deliver what was an amazing evening for our kids. Much thanks has to go to the more organised mums of the party! We had a ball preparing the room that day and I was really proud of our efforts! BUT. And there is always a but! As me and my daughter walked into the car park at what I considered to be early (yet most people and the limo were there) I stopped in my tracks! There was no limo but a big party bus, or as one parent nicely put it, a big, black ambulance! Within minutes, I was speaking to the owner of the limos on the driver's phone. There was no way around it so the bus had to do two trips to Cawthorne village hall. Most of the parents were fine about it and the kids loved it. It probably didn't help though that the older siblings were shouting that we'd got a stripper bus with a pole in it!
We all set off to the hall and waited patiently for the second group to arrive. They didn't. All eyes were on me. No pressure! I couldn't believe it when one of the parents got a call saying the bus had broken down in a field! More children ringing parents followed! I couldn't get hold of the driver as his battery was gone from me being on his phone earlier. My hubby's wise words of me pulling that short straw ran through my panicked mind! In the end, two limos came to get them and all was well that ended well!
Motherhood is fab! There are more ups than downs. The crux of this is, trying not to be perfect at too many things. You try your best to be brilliant at being a mum, a wife/partner, a daughter, a worker and what happens is you meet yourself coming backwards. You need that time for YOU; time to recharge your batteries. Sometimes things do get too much and you do have to sit and eat that whole box of chocolates that have been succesfully hidden away from Christmas or Easter. I must admit though that even on her bad days, Reece Witherspoon looks amazing!

When I think back to that time, it reminds me how time just flies. You do need to cherish every moment and make memories.

I don't have to worry about that as my usual look is, well at least I've brushed my hair! Again, a mental battle in your head. Do I wash the pots and clean the floor so I'm not greeted with a mess when we get back, or do I straighten my hair and do a mini makeover like I did pre kids?

You think you'll have loads of time but in a blink, they're off to school, then teenagers. The all time fave comparison for this is Kevin, bless him. Harry Enfield and chums were so clever with the "Yes, Mrs Pattison" sketch. It is just so hilariously done. And so true. We did it ourselves as teenagers! What's even funnier is when I find myself automatically reverting to that role now when I bump into an old friend's mum!

Little Britain's take on teenagedom is brilliant too with Matt Lucas as Vicky Pollard in her pink shell suit.
"Yer but!"

Catherine Tate's Lauren Cooper was also very cleverly acted too. What a spot on portrayal of teenagers.
"Bovvered much!"

Thankfully, we do grow out of the teenagedom stage! Probably just in time for the mid life crisis to start kicking in!
I said earlier that coffee and wine helped. Well, a good support network of family and friends does too. Meeting for that coffee at a play area with like minded people, where you can let off steam and laugh about your misgivings and compare stories is a big help. Ooh the play areas I've sat in! The play area parties we've had! None so memorable as the one we had where most of our guests, us included caught the Nora virus. Yes. Such a memorable occasion! I also remember when I was full time, leaving the job of getting to the party to hubby. I was to meet them there. When I got there, my child was not in her gorgeous party dress I'd left out that morning, but a pair of very well worn leggings and a pyjama top! I'm still getting over this many years on from the event! Parties hey? We've got through a few of them thanks to coffee and cake! I love this post from One funny mummy. It makes you wish there was an extra option on some children's parties! Only joking!

I do have to say here, that even though the blog is motherhood related, dads do a fab job too. I can vouch for that definitely!

It is hard as a Mum to relinquish control onto others. Very hard. But it's something you do get used to. Again, I take my hat off to single mums. I've seen their super powers first hand. Grit and determination. When looking on Pinterest, I came across this brilliant website called The Double Parent, which totally turns the single parent idea on its head! Double Parent also applies to all the amazing single dads out there doing the job of two parents!

So too, in the step parents who, like in this quote, and 'stepped up' or stepped in if the other parent is no longer there. They are truely remarkable people. And I am speaking from experience here.

Before I sign off, I feel I need to mention aunties and grandmas. I had, and still have the best! I love being an Aunty and I'm lucky my child's aunties are amazing, and follow the Aunty Code! So too with grandads and uncles!

For me, it is true that 'a grandma's love feels like no other' and as I write many of my nostalgic blogs, I fondly think of her sayings and her stories; she is featured in my memories often. I'll be a storytelling grandma; the grandma that lets my grandkids eat the sweets that have been stashed away! I'd like to think I'll be the gran that my grandkids reminisce about in years to come, like we do.

I do joke about coffee helping me but it really does! Being a coffee queen, I have to end on this quote. At the end of the day, this magic liquid got me through two decades of teaching!