Busy doing nothing! Unbusy yourself!

It's taken me a long time to realise that it's not about cramming everything into the weekend, especially when I worked full time and we had something planned the whole time, then I was shattered by Monday morning and needed another day to rest! My fave Monday quote was always this.

We had amazing weekends with friends and family and made lovely memories but my Monday morning me was a very tired me! Weekends were therapeutic and we looked forward to them so much. Although, Friday nights were spent catching up on the week before and snoring on the settee from 9pm after one glass of wine!

Saying that, I do love this quote about making the most of everyday, not just waiting for Fridays.

Which brings me nicely onto the every day is special vibe. When you think about this next quote, it's true. We have to appreciate everyday. Even the Mondays and the rainy days!

One way of doing this, and I have done it more easily since not working full time, is to stop and just notice nice things in a day as they happen. This could be a compliment from a friend or colleague, a whiff of roses as you walk your dog around the block or a text from a friend asking how you are. I say these as these all happened to me today and I am thankful for each one.

I do stop much more now whilst walking. Actually, the walking thing is also new to me! I stop, especially whilst walking the dog, and just look. The dog does wonder what I'm doing! I'm taking stock, breathing it all in, this majestic world of nature we love amongst. I never did that before; I enjoyed trips off and visits but many were scheduled to fit allsorts of fun in, which we did. Well, now there'll be a STOP! slot of at least a half hour, every three hours on any future schedule!

On finding this lovely Artwork on Pinterest, I came across this little gem of a quote too. Love it!

Back to not waiting for the weekend, summer or retirement, even though I've worked out that will be in around 22 years, I love this idea of not waiting for a special occasion to wear and use things. I no longer save those expensive shoes or coat for best, they get worn now! Although my idea of expensive may not be another woman's idea of expensive, you catch my drift! The main thing I have done though, is to stop just using my best pots and china for decorative purposes. Now all my vintage/retro stuff get used, and enjoyed, as they should be!

When I am back at work, I'll not arrange as much and have some breathers in between! Honestly, when I look back, we omce did three birthday parties in one Saturday and  another time we managed three Summer fairs in a weekend where we won loads on the bottle stall but I also got sunstroke!

I'm so glad we did all these fab things and visited lots of lovely places, catching up with people we didn't get chance to see in the week. I'm so glad we did my friends and I did things together while I children were kids; the mums had just as much fun at the singalonga Frozen as the children! It definitely keeps you young!

There is a part of me that does say yes to stuff for fear of missing out; I am still childlike in that way with a curious attititude to going to new places. I am learning now to say no to more, or at least give it a maybe, we'll see instead of a straight out, yes, before I even know what I am saying yes to!

I'm almost, always the last person to leave too. And now I have a daughter pretty mich the same. Funny that! Probably because I'm always one of the last to get there! When I look back at the odd times where we'd try fit to fit thrre things into one day, if we were later starting the first, it was a domino effect and we be later and rushing around. That wouldn't happen now as I'm not driving but I won't be rushing around like that again!

So, my aim, when I am working again, is to do less and not be rushing about as much, on the last push. I will endeavour to arrive to events and meet ups earlier and perhaps leave earlier? We will see! I need to stop thinking I have longer than I have and stop procrastinating instead of getting ready earlier. I remember twice arriving at parties early and feeling very proud of myself. Only to find out I had the time wrong and they started a hour later! Ooops!

I've always been a sociable person and pretty easygoing. I loved joining clubs, well, every club going! Still do but time won't allow me! I've always enjoyed being busy until it threatened the status quo of my life. The first time was at college when it was pretty obvious I needed to pull my socks up for my A Levels. My lovely A Level English tutor sat me down and asked me to make a timetable of my clubs and when I worked. It then dawned on me something had to give if I wanted to pass with better grades. I will never forget the support and guidance from this tutor, during and after my exams. On the outside, I was fine- a sociable, busy student but I wasn't necessarily coping doing it all. I was one of those give it 100% students but that means you're giving 100% to everything and you and up burning yourself out or meeting yourself at the other end! Is that the saying? Through my grades and I suppose, my changed demeanour in lessons, he'd seen the cracks. Am amazing tutor; the best. Thank goodness for friends and family who help glue us back together hey?

The other time was last year, when my mind was up to doing all sorts and holding a fill time job down but my body wasn't. Again, something had to give and it was my health. I was very ill and spent four days in hospital recuperating in my own room with the curtains constantly closed, shining a soothing blue light into my room. Nurses kept coming in asking if I wanted the telly on or my door opening but I was serenely cocooned away and the healing process had begun. We have, in this day and age, and especially women juggling family and full time work, to remember ourselves and our health before we burn ourselves out, pretending we are coping, when we are so not. You kind of get it into your mind not to complain or make a fuss. You don't want to appear negative and weak. Instead, you keep going until you are totally frazzled out and it hits you like a brick wall.

From this time, I'm loving times when I am unbusy. I just catch myself in a moment and proper appreciate being here.

I'm loving just reading or sitting on a park bench, listening to the wind in the trees and feeling the sun on my face. I love trees. Always have. Right back to the nature walks with my dad; we'd walk for hours and hours. Now, I love standing in the middle with trees surrounding me and I just look up, on amazement, especially with the clouds floating by. I love my words and apparently this makes me a dendrophile. Well, I've been called worse things!

I think a good way of looking at it is not to feel guilty about it when you feel you are doing nothing, after being so used to doing nearly everything. You are actually doing something. You are resting, recuperating and getting your energy back for when you are ready to get back. You are not wasting time if you need to rest in bed and get up later than normal. This time is crucial to you healing. If you need to rest, rest.

When you enjoy meeting friends and family and meet up with them a lot  this does not necessarily mean you cannot be on your own. I do like the best of both worlds.  Back when I was busier, it wasn't that I didn't like my own company before. I have a pretty good imagination and could sit people watching, especially for hours! I just preferred to be with people. There were only so many hours in a day so I chose to spend my free time meeting and visiting folk. This meant two things. Firstly, shoving three things into a day. Sometimes you'd meet the first a bit later so was rushing around all day and domino effect of being late for next one. Less rushing in future! Press the slow down button! I must admit I have already started this as I am not driving at the minute and before, I did a lot of visiting and running around I'm not in a position to do now. I really appreciate those who are visiting me.

The second thing was leaving the hour of me time till 11 at night. I'd finally settle down to watch CSI with a glass of wine and bag of nuts and fall asleep on the settee. The me time has to be quality. I'm meaning just you time. This is extra to any hobbies you may also be trying to squeeze into your week.

I know of people who get up earlier on a morning to fulfil some me time. Yes, these people do actually exist. I'm all on getting up, caffineiting and making sure my top isn't on the inside out before I leave the house. How do es this super species of a human get up and run or swim five miles before work? The mind boggles! I always knew I was a nocturnal, not a morning person, but now I'm even shattered at night too! Love this quote!

It's also good to remember to try not get caught up in the 'too busy' phase. We are all, and gave all been very busy in our lives. We need to stand back and check what we are saying we are too busy for. I've done this myself trying to find the work/life balance of a teacher. Towards the end I started on weekends, working Fridays and Sundays and having Saturday as a family day, until marking crept into Saturday nights. We have to try prioritise our time, which is easier said than done!

Same with seeing our family and friends. This is quite a thought provoking quote, but simple at the same time.

This next quote is true too. We live and learn!

I feel so lucky to gave fab friends and family who have helped me this past year while I have been off work.

At the end of the day, I read somewhere, we need to, as a society focus less on looking busy as being a fantastic thing. Many people, me included, feel we need to come across as busy and like we are doing. I love this quote, less doing and more just being!

Anyone can appear to be busy. I could have a folder open for an hour, looking at the spreadsheets of data, sipping on a cup of coffee when only ten minutes of thar hour were taken up with work, the other 50 minutes were me thinking what I was having for tea that evening!

When I was working and we were being assessed and monitored, this phrase was used so much in staff meetings - you are working so hard. BUT, you need to work smarter. I totally understood the concept but the 'smarter aspect got harder every time the goal posts changed. I do agree in being productive, not just busy but the procrastinator in me wants to just go and search lovely Art work on Pinterest whilst getting sidetracked by cute poodle puppies for ten minutes sorry!

So remember, listen to your music, read your book, chat to your friend on the phone, play on your IPad game, do whatever relaxes you.

It is so important to recharge your batteries, so you can do everything you want to do and be there for people. Your cup is refillable and as it says below, 'you can't pour from an empty cup'. Get refilling now!

I do love my quotes and this note to self is one of my favourite ever quotes to live by. Be kind to yourself.


  1. Such a thought provoking blog! Too many of us learn these things too late in life.
    I THOUGHT I knew the value of “me” time, especially when my children were small and I tried to have at least 30 minutes per day doing something just for me! (Even if I had to lock myself in the bathroom to do it). Then as life got busier me time got pushed aside other things got to seem more important etc etc. Things eventually came to a head many years later when I had pain so severe I could barely function. I joke now that depending on the level of pain I was in on a particular day, it depended on whether or not I could even get washed and dressed. A diagnosis of fibromyalgia later I HAD to stop and listen to my body on a daily basis Now, though the pain is less severe I have learned to be kinder to myself otherwise I suffer. It is so very important to listen to what your body and mind is telling you. We live in a constantly stressful world, but WE are in control of our own life so WE need to call the shots for ourself

    1. Thankyou for your heartfelt reply. I really do feel what you mean as I too, after ten years have been diagnosed with fibromylgia and ME. It takes a while to come to terms with but now I know not to try do too mich pm better days and to totally rest on my worst days. Take care and so glad you identified with this blog.

  2. Your blog is so true. Prioritise your time and learn to say no! We live in a very fast world and sometimes we just need to take time out and find what feeds the soul! You are definitely on the right track!

  3. Thankyou for your heartfelt reply. Seems we experiences in common as I too suffer from fybromylgia and ME. My last quote was from a fybro support group. We do listen to our bodies telling us to rest now. We need to try not push too much into our better days and rest on our worse days. Take care.


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