A to Z of advice!

I've written a few blogs now and come across quite a few quotes! Think I've picked up a few pointers! I've found writing my blogs and interacting on here with the comments and on my Facebook page, very therapeutic indeed. I've even changed my way of thinking for some things. I am good at giving advice to others, but now I need to start taking more heed of my own words. A bit like Cinderella in this quote!

I thought of making an alphabet list of quotes and mottos that now inspire me every day. One of my first blogs was my two favourite mottos, my top one being,
If you can't be kind, be quiet.

That still stands. It is such a simple quote but it is so effective. There are so many moments in my day to day life where I, and others I know bite our tongues and count to ten, thinking of a more tactful way of wording something. Or just staying quiet! That's probably the easiest! This does not mean you are a push over. You can state your feelings and opinions without putting anyone down or belittling them.
I'm not perfect. No one is. I do let my mouth rum on and on and I sometimes do not know when to shut up. I may 'put my foot in it' unknowingly and feel everyone around me cringing. But I am careful with my word choice and the effect it could have on others. I am too, lucky to be surrounded by people who do just this too.

Think back to the old sayings:
Actions speak louder than words

Sticks and stones may break my bones but calling names won't hurt me

I understand that when we were little these sayings helped, especially the latter. When we were in the playground and someone called us a name, we'd shout that at them and pull our tongue out! Obviously, in the real world where you are all grown up (which sometimes actually mirrors a playground), it wouldn't go down well if we all shouted that and pulled our tongues out! Or would it? I might try that next time I'm belittled in my professional job!

Joking aside though, words hurt and most times  the speaker knows what they are saying will mock, hurt, undermine and affect the person they are saying the unkind words to. Even if they are said with a smile or a laugh; the words have been said. I had a conversation the other day about this and we both agreed that my normal reaction to this happening, which was to laugh it off or go along with it and even add my own words of criticism about myself, needed to stop. I think this reaction came from the notion that if you start by jokingly criticising yourself when you meet new people or are in a new situation, that will stop them because you've taken the wind out of their sails. A bit like Fat Amy from Pitch Perfect, who named herself this so she got in there before other thinner girls could, when her real was Patricia! I realise I've been doing it all wrong. Instead of pointing out my failings jokingly, which actually just points them out when they may have been overlooked and emphasises them, I will now let folk figure them out for themselves. And hopefully they will see my strengths along the way! It's like when a friend comes to visit and you feel this overwhelming honesty coming out.
Don't look in the bedrooms, they're a right mess!
I haven't managed to clean the bathroom so close your eyes when you go to the loo!
And don't even look behind the settee!
The cupboards won't even close in the Dining room cos I've shoved everything off the table into them just before you came!
Well, what will folk then do? They will spend all the time you are making a coffee looking behind the settee and in the dining room cupboards! Human nature!
Anyway! I feel better now I've got that off me chest!

Here goes. Hope this helps!

Aspire to be the role models around you. And the role models no longer with us. Much of my daily thoughts are based around advice I've learned from my elders in my family. I hold on to favourite sayings and find strength in them when unsure of something. It's also lovely to just reminisce about sayings, especially from our grandparents. They bring back such comfort and memories.

Be kind always. Simple.

Compliment people all the time. Share the love! I always compliment friends but found it hard to start with complimenting others. Now, I get a feel and if I think it feels right, I'll compliment them. I complimented the nurse at my doctors on her purple hair and fab tattoos and you could see she was proper happy! Then, a lady in the Ladies complemented my new hairstyle and I felt really good!

Don't doubt yourself. You will have enough doubters so don't add yourself to that list!

Expect little but appreciate much. See how surprised you will be!

Friendship works both ways. You can have a Welcome sign, just don't be a doormat!

Give what you can, when you can.

Happiness is felt, not owned. In the quest for happiness, we can miss the point entirely! Enjoy the moment and just be. Don't over analyse how much fun you are having, just have fun!

Imagine the best you and be that!

Just take a day at a time. And breathe! Sometimes a hour at a time!

Know your limits. Don't pressure yourself to be perfect. Perfect is boring.

Love your life for what it is, not what you thought it might have been. Don't hold onto preconceived ideas and plans of what was going to happen because life really does not work that way. I received an amazing quote from a lovely friend who has a chronic illness like myself. She had already come to terms with her illness and was telling me not to fight it, but accept it, to embrace the changes. Wow! This analogy is still with me now. So, instead of reaching my destination of Italy and speaking Italian, the plane stopped in Holland and I had to learn Dutch. Instead of longing for the Italian way of life, I learned to embrace the Dutch.

Me time is not selfish. You need time to recharge. And this Me time, from experience needs to be quality time! Not squeezed in at 11pm at night when you end up just falling asleep midway through Law and Order or falling asleep before you've finished reading one chapter. If you are going to be any good to anybody, you need this quality time!
I have found a way around this. I used to keep myself very busy. So busy! Now I have unbusyed myself quite a bit and it feels good. I used to push so much into my weekends, which were amazing and have left me with brilliant memories. But by Monday morning, walking into work like a zombie, I looked like I hadn't had a weekend and needed to go home, straight to bed. You see, I kind of had this notion of FOMO, the fear of missing out. I didn't want to miss out when invited to places and parties and the opening of an envelope! Now, I am starting to follow the idea of JOMO, and instead of cramming my time with stuff to go to, I might decline and read my book, finishing the chapter, or even reading two chapters! Some of this was brought on by being ill so having no choice but to stay in, but now I'm feeling better than I was, I'm choosing to stay in more.

Nobody knows you more than you know yourself. Your opinions are therefore very valid.

Only you can set the standards of how people should treat you.

Pamper yourself at least once a week. If you don't, who will? Small pampers may exist of a facial or a long bath rather than a rushed shower.

Question the world around you. We are never too old to learn something new.

Rest without feeling guilty. You are not wasting your day if your body says it needs to rest. Listen to it!

Seize the day and squeeze what can out of every moment!

Tell people how you feel about them. Life's too short to keep your feelings in.

Unless you can alter it, put it behind you and move on.

Valued friends and family are more precious than any jewels. Life is hard and when you find good people to help you through, hold onto them.

Wear your quirks with pride! Some of your quirks are probably the best things about you! And if you give them, other people with similar quirks won't be able to see them!

X marks the spot! Find your place on the map of life and be happy there.

You only live once. Life is no rehearsal but the world is a stage. Get on that stage and get performing!

Zip it if you are not going to say anything nice.

Thanks to everyone for reading my blogs. I don't know where I'd be without Pinterest either, so thanks to them! I will finish on my other fave quote that appeared in one of my first blogs.
Love Big.
Appreciate everyone and everything you have. Love them big! Love life unashamedly. Go hug a tree and sing your favourite song at the top of your voice. In fact, my advice is to hug often. It does release tension but it also fills you with the loving vibes of that other person. Love getting to know new people, places and hobbies. Never stop learning new things.


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