Let it go!
I could not write that sentence without singing it! Sorry! This blog has been inspired by this very important quote that I have just read on Facebook. I follow an amazing lady and her page, Alica's True Colours. She has some very good quotes that proper make you nod! I relate to many of them, but this one especially.
In the modern world of drama and social media and a constant quest for perfection, people, me included are always searching for the very elusive CLOSURE. When really, it does not always exist. Or our version of it does not exist. I am a Virgo, therefore a bit of a perfectionist and I like to think I have things completed, not just left unfinished. But when other folk are involved, who may too be of a similar star sign, closure may not always go your way. There will be a closing. Just not closure.
It can take weeks, months, years to realise no matter what you do, it will not change what happened. The outcome will be the same and no amount of worrying about it and analysing events will undo what was done and said. I'm not saying get over it after a day. We are humans who need to process what's happened. But, don't let whatever hurt or upset you eat you up and take over.
Re reading that brilliant quote made me realise that you only have a say in your opinions of situations, not the other people. How they feel is up to them. It made me realise that it does not matter what you say really as they have their opinion, as you have yours so it works vice versa. The best thing is to stop the worrying and over thinking and just close the door on it.
This quote helps visually. Why do we need a perfect, completed picture to be happy? Who says this is the way? Why spend wasted time on those two or three missing pieces, (especially when they are only blue sky?) Concentrate on the more interesting pieces in the middle! This is so true of life- we look at what's missing or what's going wrong instead of looking at what we've got and what's going right. Not all the time, but a lot! When I think of my career so far, I need to remember everything I've achieved. It does help to do that, to take stock of everything we have done and achieved!
Another way of looking at it, as a jigsaw making person, is that if you have all the pieces intact, then you've finished it and had all the fun! So I suppose it's good to have things to do and to keep striving for.
Lessons taught? Do we ever learn? We are very good at redoing things aren't we? I'll tell you what I need to do less of - thinking! When you are an overthinker, you tend to maybe do more and keep yourself busy so you are not thinking and overanalysing everything right back from 1992 when someone said something sarcastic to you on a night out, or 2009 when a colleague rudely put you down in a very full staff meeting. Those dates are made up by the way! So, brain, stop over thinking please! Stop remembering things from 30 years ago, unless they are happy things!
Most times, in the past, I've let things go at the wrong time, letting them go momentarily at the time when someone has put me down or made me bad to make them look better. I've smiled sweetly, sat quietly, changed the subject, or, even worse, joked along with it. Not anymore! That might, for a few minutes, smooth things over, avoid conflict and save the moment but in the long run? You keep it all in, regurgitating it and making it 100 times worse in your mind. You become angry with your self for not sticking up for the one person you should be looking out for. The person who nonchalantly gave a very rude and hurtful comment is like the person in the Horlicks advert. How do they sleep at night? And you? We'll, you're in conflict because you kept it all in and end up having this long running commentary in your mind of the things you should have said and done. I'm sure there are others out there who do this. In my next job, I'm having the conversation with whomever, there and then. I might be inwardly shaking, but I'll be offloading there and then and not saving it up to waste time and effort on it after.
I was having a fab conversation the other day about lots of things and health came up. I used this analogy. If we think of ourselves as cars and as a car, we fail our MOTs, we then don't keep driving around, we get a service to be roadworthy. Well, in the same respect, we need to see that warning light and take heed. If we are constantly letting things get to us, we are not repairing ourselves. Like a bike tyre with a puncture, we need it repairing. This needs to be sustainable, not just an overnight repair.
One way of repairing is in this next quite from Pinterest. It's no use holding onto anger, guilt, regret and worry. It does not change anything.
I met with a very wise friend today who is very good with making her own quotes! She said something very good. She basically said,
If you can't change it, don't give it your attention.
I suppose when anything is thrown at you in life, it's how you react to it.
When things get you down or things go wrong, I like this next quote. Responding negatively does not help. Over responding doesn't either. After a while you realise, thar perhaps a response is not needed. Or no response is the best way forward.
In the words of Craig David, "I'm walking away, from the troubles in my life." It is hard, that first step of walking away but, like it says in the quote, the more walking away you do, the easier it gets.
There does come a time when you can let go. Don't rush it. You'll just know.
I began with a song, so will end on a song, from, in my opinion the best band ever, The Beatles. Whether you are letting go or letting it be, you are moving on. In your own time and in your own way. Moving forwards. Just letting it be what it is, not what you need it to be in your mind, as your version.
I could not write that sentence without singing it! Sorry! This blog has been inspired by this very important quote that I have just read on Facebook. I follow an amazing lady and her page, Alica's True Colours. She has some very good quotes that proper make you nod! I relate to many of them, but this one especially.
In the modern world of drama and social media and a constant quest for perfection, people, me included are always searching for the very elusive CLOSURE. When really, it does not always exist. Or our version of it does not exist. I am a Virgo, therefore a bit of a perfectionist and I like to think I have things completed, not just left unfinished. But when other folk are involved, who may too be of a similar star sign, closure may not always go your way. There will be a closing. Just not closure.
It can take weeks, months, years to realise no matter what you do, it will not change what happened. The outcome will be the same and no amount of worrying about it and analysing events will undo what was done and said. I'm not saying get over it after a day. We are humans who need to process what's happened. But, don't let whatever hurt or upset you eat you up and take over.
Re reading that brilliant quote made me realise that you only have a say in your opinions of situations, not the other people. How they feel is up to them. It made me realise that it does not matter what you say really as they have their opinion, as you have yours so it works vice versa. The best thing is to stop the worrying and over thinking and just close the door on it.
This quote helps visually. Why do we need a perfect, completed picture to be happy? Who says this is the way? Why spend wasted time on those two or three missing pieces, (especially when they are only blue sky?) Concentrate on the more interesting pieces in the middle! This is so true of life- we look at what's missing or what's going wrong instead of looking at what we've got and what's going right. Not all the time, but a lot! When I think of my career so far, I need to remember everything I've achieved. It does help to do that, to take stock of everything we have done and achieved!
Another way of looking at it, as a jigsaw making person, is that if you have all the pieces intact, then you've finished it and had all the fun! So I suppose it's good to have things to do and to keep striving for.
Lessons taught? Do we ever learn? We are very good at redoing things aren't we? I'll tell you what I need to do less of - thinking! When you are an overthinker, you tend to maybe do more and keep yourself busy so you are not thinking and overanalysing everything right back from 1992 when someone said something sarcastic to you on a night out, or 2009 when a colleague rudely put you down in a very full staff meeting. Those dates are made up by the way! So, brain, stop over thinking please! Stop remembering things from 30 years ago, unless they are happy things!
Most times, in the past, I've let things go at the wrong time, letting them go momentarily at the time when someone has put me down or made me bad to make them look better. I've smiled sweetly, sat quietly, changed the subject, or, even worse, joked along with it. Not anymore! That might, for a few minutes, smooth things over, avoid conflict and save the moment but in the long run? You keep it all in, regurgitating it and making it 100 times worse in your mind. You become angry with your self for not sticking up for the one person you should be looking out for. The person who nonchalantly gave a very rude and hurtful comment is like the person in the Horlicks advert. How do they sleep at night? And you? We'll, you're in conflict because you kept it all in and end up having this long running commentary in your mind of the things you should have said and done. I'm sure there are others out there who do this. In my next job, I'm having the conversation with whomever, there and then. I might be inwardly shaking, but I'll be offloading there and then and not saving it up to waste time and effort on it after.
I was having a fab conversation the other day about lots of things and health came up. I used this analogy. If we think of ourselves as cars and as a car, we fail our MOTs, we then don't keep driving around, we get a service to be roadworthy. Well, in the same respect, we need to see that warning light and take heed. If we are constantly letting things get to us, we are not repairing ourselves. Like a bike tyre with a puncture, we need it repairing. This needs to be sustainable, not just an overnight repair.
One way of repairing is in this next quite from Pinterest. It's no use holding onto anger, guilt, regret and worry. It does not change anything.
I met with a very wise friend today who is very good with making her own quotes! She said something very good. She basically said,
If you can't change it, don't give it your attention.
I suppose when anything is thrown at you in life, it's how you react to it.
When things get you down or things go wrong, I like this next quote. Responding negatively does not help. Over responding doesn't either. After a while you realise, thar perhaps a response is not needed. Or no response is the best way forward.
In the words of Craig David, "I'm walking away, from the troubles in my life." It is hard, that first step of walking away but, like it says in the quote, the more walking away you do, the easier it gets.
There does come a time when you can let go. Don't rush it. You'll just know.
I began with a song, so will end on a song, from, in my opinion the best band ever, The Beatles. Whether you are letting go or letting it be, you are moving on. In your own time and in your own way. Moving forwards. Just letting it be what it is, not what you need it to be in your mind, as your version.
Little steps then bigger strides listen to your instincts and take one day at a time!
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time is so true!
ReplyDeleteYour words are so inspiring. So true I have to let things go ,so that I can move on . I didn't like the ladder I climbed up last year so I am now looking for another ladder to climb up.
ReplyDeleteAww. Thankyou. Good luck climbing your next ladder!
Delete