Single, married, other ...

I loved that TV programme, with Shaun Dooley,
I would like to add two new boxes though,
Reading a book
Drinking gin

Although I do like the added box of becoming a cat lady. I would personally be a dog lady, and end my days surrounded by furry little pooches! It worked for the lovely Doris Day! This quote is quite apt!

Not quite the Sex and the city blog. I'm sitting in my Tesco nighty and slippers, rather than boob tube and Jimmy Choos. I do however, have my very own Mr Big, and he has his very own Mrs Big! We are on a health kick though so perhaps we now have our Mr and Mrs Mediums!
It's like a sliding scale from flirting and dating to marriage. Love this next quote. It proper tickled me!

Definitely through thick and thin. He has loved me at my utmost biggest, since asking out a size 10 nineteen year old. Apparently he liked me because I was kind and emotional. Boy, he really did not know what he was letting himself in for!

I was drawn to his tallness and his shyness. I was reading far too many Jane Austen novels at the time! I liked his quietness. Still do. My hubby is a witty observer; he takes it all in. He listens and when he adds to conversation, it is witty and worthwhile. He has made observations of friends and acquaintances and perhaps for some, I should have listened at the time!
Perhaps we do take our partners of a long time for granted on occasions. I'll make it up to him. Next time, I'll make the effort and look at Venus through his telescope! I think thst can happen when you get used to having someone by your side, through thick and thin. The key is to keep feeling thankful they are there. We must start back on these 'date nights' too that couples have.

This next quote reminded me of when my better half and I played Mr and Mrs at a family party. I was like: Why did he give that answer? Does he even know me? Why has he said that? Obviously we came last. Put it this way, when we played it again, me and the sister in law paired up and scored much higher!

This next quote proper tickled me. I'm new to Netflix and newly addicted! I did not realise the euphemism to this saying until I nearly bought a keyring and was told by my teenager and friends the real meaning. Looking quite shocked, I put it back and opted for a Harry Potter key ring instead! When you have been married for eons, you pretty much want to watch every second of the latest Netflix, in our case, How to get away with murder. So it really is just, Netflix and chill!

I suppose when you are married you pretty much don't know what to expect and go on a long journey of compromise and an even longer journey of getting it wrong, feeling about in the dark a bit and realising you were wrong on something (but not always owning up to it!) Mostly, to me, it's about having someone there but both finding a way to fit together long term. This is personal to each couple. I absolutely love this next quote. If what you do works for you, then fab!

Marriage is not easy. You don't just say "I do!", fall into their arms and live happily ever after. NO WAY! There are so many unromantic parts to a marriage like bills, housework and so on. To me, it's great to work on the heavy stuff but you also need to keep laughing together and having fun. It's blooming hard work, especially in this day and age, but it's worth it!

I am a hopeless romantic, but as I age I am becoming more of a realist. This quote is so true. It's about taking the rough with the smooth, knowing, if you are patient, the smooth should win. This is not settling by any means. This is knowing you are right for each other but that shit does happen and gets in the way. Hopefully, by sitting the storm out, you can carry on intact. Unfortunately, this isn't always the result, but at least you have both given it your everything. Talking to people and from living my life, it seems it's not the forgiving part of anything that really matters but the forgetting, not dwelling, not bringing things up from five years ago, not holding deep grudges. All these things just tear your relationship apart. It's hard but the best thing is to move on.

When I look back on being single, I must admit, I've slept since! It feels like that me, so long ago is a very different me. The late teenage me might have been Alanis Morrisette angst driven but she was a lot happier in herself. I suppose at that age you haven't, generally had a lot of things test your confidence and make you question your worth. You seem a lot more sure of yourself. As you go through each decade, each relationship and each job, it's more chance of you being put in situations where your self doubt sets in. You have to remember who you once were; that person is still in there!
All the single ladies! Oh my goodness! I have some absolutely fantastic memories of going out on the town! I'm sure everyone has! We'd sometimes be out three, four times a week, dancing for hours! I can't even manage one night of dancing now without paying for it the next day!
And drinking? When I look back, we definitely mixed our drinks! I shudder to think of the different drinks we had, all set,each week in each pub. You knew the drink to the pub:
Wine Bar    Mad Dog 20/20/ Castaway
Bodegas      Choccabomb/ double rum and coke
KGV              Aftershocks

Honestly, if I had to be back on the dating scene again, I would retreat to to the library, read a pile of books, then go home to my gin collection. I just wouldn't know where to start. This is all hypothetical obviously!
I take my hat off to folk my age and older on the dating scene now with all the dating apps and social media. For a start, I get mixed up with my left and my right so I'd swipe the wrong way for guys I liked! I've watched First Dates and laughed so much but I could not actually imagine being there!
And all that pruning and preening of oneself! I follow the Mail columnist, Liz Jones who is so funny and insists any pruning of herself is purely for her. She has me in stitches with some of her columns! I really don't know if I could be bothered with it all.
Thinking about it, if I had to have a date, I'd make it with myself! I'd have two starters, two mains and two desserts to choose from as I am very indecisive! Oh yes! I could choose the music too!

At the end of the day, what's not to like with yourself? You will always turn up on dates, you can be reiled on and you know all your skeletons in your closet! Oh, and you won't two time yourself either!

I love watching the rom com chick flicks still. I remember the likes of Meg Ryan, Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts getting, and holding onto their man! Some of them have had me in stitches, like the There's Something About Mary hair moment! That would, most likely be my experience! This made me laugh!

All night long, swinging from the chandeliers does sound very tempting for the Bridget Jones singletons. And no, not all marrieds are 'smug' either. They are most probably looking longingly at their book, promising to take it to bed later, rather than the husband!

Back to the Bridget singletons. Swinging from chandeliers is all well and good but when you get to a certain age, it's perhaps best to check on your health and your home insurance first!
I remember having a notion in my head when I was younger of who my husband would be when I grew up. A fortune teller told me, when I was eight that I'd marry a policeman! I had an idea from all the Sweet Valley High, Sweet Dreams and Danielle Steele books what they'd be like. I don't suppose I was far off actually! Imagine being on a date though and declining coffee at the end because they look nothing like the hero of the current book you are reading!

I suppose one of the best relationships you can have is the one with yourself. We are with ourselves all the time but we don't always spend enough time on ourselves. We need to remind ourselves the relationship with ourselves is just as important as it is with others. How we speak to ourselves really matters and sometimes we don't realise how negative we are being. Give yourself a hug. Perhaps not in the Soup aisle of Sainsburys though!

Relationships with partners, families and friends are great and make the world go round. They take work though, on both sides. In this modern age of social media, it's kind of taken away a bit of the need to see people more face to face. Big decisions, instead of being made together, in the same room, are made miles apart across a screen. I am very thankful I have never been dumped by text, probably because the last time was in 1994! Things just seemed more personal then. Face to face, hug to hug, hand to hand is still so important. I know now I've made life changing decisions via texting and social media that I would not have made if we had been face to face. I know now that our arguments and words would not have gone that far. Perhaps a hug or a smile would have diffused the situation. We live and learn, well, hopefully!


  1. Married 50+ years. Could write a book!!!

    1. Go on then! You will definitely have a few pages to write!

  2. I really identified with this blog. Marriage is a compromise where you each respect each other as.a partnership. After 37yesrs of marriage, we are also great friends as well as partners.

    1. Absolutely! Glad you enjpyed reading and identifying with ut.

    2. Absolutely! Glad you enjoyed it.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Live the Pooh way

Bookshop Love

A breath of fresh air