Live the Pooh way

Sagging, slightly flagging but empowered!

This describes my friends of a similar age and myself, to a tea! I have written both a menopause and an ageing disgracefully blog before but this is slightly different! Probably because I'm in a different place now as I was then! I do feel more confident and empowered. Definitely sagging, my pipes need lagging and I'm physically flagging. But yes! I'm in a better frame of mind to cope with it all now!

Even though I ate and drank like it was an Olympic event over Christmas, I do feel mentally and spiritually lighter as I enter this new year, and decade. I just now need to work on the physical bit! When I read this next quote, I knew it fitted me. I have carried so much more than I should have: guilt, blame, self doubt, regret and worry to be just a few big boulders I had upon my shoulders. I am now carrying these as stones; you can't fully get rid of feelings and emotions but you can make sure they don't take as much energy up as they did before. How did I do this? By hitting rock bottom emotionally and physically. The only way then is up! Also, realising that living in the past with could haves and should haves, blaming myself and beating myself up was only making me feel worse. It is only when you realise yourself, and it has to come from you, that other people had a part to play and they were carrying on with their lives, that you have to drop some of the should haves and move on, just like them.

This is an important move too, getting to re know the wonderful new. Everything you have repressed and watered down for certain people, start loving these things about yourself again.

In life, there will always be the givers and the takers. If you are a giver, keep going. Just keepan eye out for those who accept your help readily but hardly give any back. Notice those, who when you are then in need, do not return the favour or just don't want to put themselves out for you.

As you age, you realise who your people are; those who laugh with you but also cry with you. Everything and everyone you give your time and energy to has a meaning.

As you age you also crave, well I do, a quiter, more simpler life. Some folk love drama, love attention, love stirring and love to play mind ganes. Well, let them. Just not with you. Once you step out of this, a lovely feeling of peace passes over you. Any drama can be gotten by switching on your TV and watching it on the screen!

Aging does, in my opinion, give you more confidence to be you. There is a bit of an identity crisis. I've just had mine. But then, there follows this amazing letting go. So what if so and so thought this and they said that? You probably just become so saturated by crappy, irrelevant thoughts that one day they all burst and leave your head much clearer. Like they say, let that shit go. Do you think you are ok? Do you like you? That is enough. You are enough.

I have recently found this inner peace. It kind of just arrived. I'd been working on it for ages then it just turned up when I'd not been focusing on it as much. Mainly, I'd got so tired with worrying, analysing, stressing, what iffing and blaming myself that I had to curb it, all these negative emotions. With help from amazing friends and family but also some inner strength that we all have. I now do not react to everything and I don't take things as personally as much.

See, I did what the quote below tells you not to do. I've seen it with other friends too. That sparkle is what makes you you and suddenly you are questionning that and toning it down so you can fit in with others. Now my sparkle is well and truely back, it's staying! I will never again get so low and be in a position to let certain people question everything I do, criticising me and putting me down in front of others. I'm hoping I see the signs and speak up for myself. I did read that when people, especially at work constantly put you down, it's because they are aware of your potential even if you aren't. I hold onto that thought a lot.

I love this next quote. Give yourself a hug for everything you have got yourself through. I love the accept yourself. Keep on empowering yourself, everyday.

I love how my family and friends empower each other, through support and love. Share your experience with each other and make each other feel better about themselves.

When I look back on my journey of recovery, which is how it has been described, with  chronic illness, I look back with a smile and a thankful heart for how far I have come and for those who have helped me. Each little step is so important and you remember everyone who helped you. It's not about doing it fast; it is a slow process, but worth it. Keep going!

So, I may be sagging, slightly flagging and no longer a spring chicken. But that's ok. I'm embracing it all. I've wasted much time on negative, trivial stuff but not any more. I'm feeling stronger and more able to say a we'll see or maybe not instead of yes, of course. I'm ignoring and stepping away from things that drain me or put me down. I may have aged but I'm embracing this ageing and the way it's making me look at life and myself in a much more positive light. I'm also remembering that not everything has to be perfect, you can't always get closure over situations and the fact that nobody has it all figured out; it's all an ongoing, learning curve is life!