Press Pause!

 Press Pause!

Love this quote from the wonderful Tiny Buddha page on pinterest. In fact, a few of my quotes in this blog are from them! I love the guidance given because, if you are anything like me, you will rush in and go along with things and agree to stuff you are not really sure about, say yes to events, be caught up in the moment, assume things before asking. And so on!

I am spontaneous and quick thinking; I like things to get done and dusted and am very impatient. I can just plough ahead with stuff without properly thinking about it, take people on face value, giving them my time and energy, before realising they actually aren't as nice as I first thought. When your mind rushes and is always busy, even on fast forward, you do need to press the pause button! When your brain refuses to sleep at night, there's way too much going on. Practise the pause! Mentally take a breather! 

I have found my way of pausing- by meditating and I love it! I know when I can feel my mind getting busy and overloaded again and meditation does help soothe my mind, making it feel refreshed.

The other thing about not pausing is the physical effects. When I was pushing myself too far, continuing with my work when my body was giving me helpful signs to slow down and look after myself better, I didn't listen. I felt like I had something to prove. Looking back now, it was ludicrous! My body took over and made me rest! Stress is not kind to the body; it's way of telling you to not just pause, but actually stop!

Your mental and spiritual health are as important as, and are linked to your physical health. I love this quote. The way you speak to yourself really matters.

It's not just the food and drink you put in your mouth but your choice of words that are coming out of your mouth too! Speak kindly to yourself. Not only are you hearing your criticisms, but others too. Your words, energy and actions all paint a picture of yourself. 

So, as I learned, stop feeling so guilty about things. If you are exhausted, not feeling it, or just want some you time, don't feel bad. When I became ill a few years ago and the structure, routine and pace of my daily life suddenly changed, I felt lost. I felt guilty, like I was lazy, like I was wasting my days. I now see I needed these resting days. It was more beneficial to be resting. I was actually doing something!

Do not feel the need to be, or look busy all the time. I fell into this trap, working full time and bringing work home, filling my evenings and weekends with family and friends, rushing from one person to the next, not wanting to miss anybody out. Busy was good. Or so I thought! Busy stopped me from thinking and worrying about things. No, it didn't. It just stored my worries up for when I wasn't working!

I love this next quote. You don't always have to be doing something. It is also very beneficial to rest. It isn't wasting your time!

When I first read about this, FOMO, fear of missing out, I totally got it. I even wrote a blog about it. This was me. I was so intent on not missing out, I tried to go to everything going! I found it hard declining invitations, thinking I could squeeze everything in, especially on a weekend, and ended up rushing from one thing to the next. It did mean I didn't miss out and we have made marvellous memories but sometimes I was so conscious of going onto the next thing that I didn't always fully enjoy everything. I now realise doing less does mean loving in the moment more.

So now, I have enjoyment from JOMO, the joy of missing out. I still have a few moments of, I need to go and I need to see so and so but I do think more carefully between filling my days up now. For example, as I sit and write this, I have turned down a girly night, tea and a quiz. My headache has thanked me for it but I am missing being with my friends, having a laugh. I know I have made the right decision though, listening to my body, saying I need to rest. 

I have since found this quote, from A Peace of Werk. Never looked at it like this before!

You don't need to do everything and go everywhere all the time. I now see that always being busy isn't very balanced. You need days where you aren't doing as much.

I'm loving not feeling that pressure that I had before. Love this next quote. I'd love a unicorn!

I have a dog actually! So this next quote is more fitting!

So, make more time for you, and your dog, cat, budgie and hamster! Just have a night doing nothing. 

I realised that making time for yourself and looking after yourself, meant saying bo to people. I found, and still find this very hard. As a yes person, you do find it hard breaking that habit. It's so nice being able to say yes and help people that you feel guilty for saying no. 

When you are in a hurry to say yes to everyone and help out, you never stop to think if you can actually carry out the promise. You put yourself out all the time for others, without thinking. 

When you hesitantly say the alien word, no, some folk will see this as, she doesn't really mean it, I'll ask again. Some people do take advantage. 

This next quote hit home. I have spent much of my life trying to please everyone. Now, I have a smaller circle of people whose opinion I truely care about. You cannot please everyone! 

I really am a recovering people pleaser. Honestly! It's hard stepping out of your comfort zone and saying, well actually I'm not ok with that! When you don't like conflict or letting people down, it takes practice to start standing up for yourself. And not apologising for it afterwards either!

So, recovering people pleasers unite! When our aim is to please and fit in with people, we are actually playing our individuality down. 

Some people who are used to hearing yes and used to you going along with things to not rock the boat, when you change and start stepping back, they don't react well. They've just assumed you will always be there, to hand. Well, consider the boat well and truely rocked! When I read about making boundaries, that really got me thinking. 

It will be uncomfortable, standing up for yourself, but really worth it! Do not feel bad about it! You still say yes, but less and to people who appreciate you.