A cup of serenitea

 A cup of serenitea.

I love this post from the brilliant The Quirky Cup Collective on facebook. It made me think. Well yes. I drink tea everyday and it refreshes and warms me. It is a lovely habit as my first and last drink. But what about all these teas? Which have I been in need of the most lately? What have I been searching for? As I read them all, it hit me. I've actually been searching for them all.

I have definitely craved clarity, or claritea in my life since leaving my career and being diagnosed with my chronic illness. Clarity of direction in my life. Especially as a Virgo who had been going down this path, thinking this path led to retirement, then wham! A massive Stop sign. Not a Give way sign. An emergency stop really! This quote shows my feelings, efforts, direction before I was forced to evaluate things. It made me think of a music stave actually! Obviously, the notes I'm now making are a lot more musical!

Clarity of mind too with this fibro fog. For anyone who has it, they'll know it goes from being a thick fog to a gooey marshmallowness in your head. Decisions seem much harder to make now. And even when made, you're tooing and froing in your mind. I became the Queen of Procrastination, when really I wanted to be the Queen of Getting things done, a title I once held very dearly. When you are thinking clearer, your mind does prioritise. I wasted so much time, putting things off. Still do to some extent now. You also prioritise people too. I have definitely 'found out the gold from the goldplated'. Love that saying!

As you are focusing on what, and who really matters in your life, you can then sift out all that extra stuff you worried about which, didn't really matter after all!

Another ty word! Yes, I have been craving simplicity and a less drama filled life. All this comes when you begin to see people for what they really are. Some are drama queens, some do love there to be endless issues to talk and moan about. I have got to an age now, where I don't want to be dragged into all this. Just leave me be with my book and my doggy!

This next quote has suited my life recently. I have shushed so much noise going around my head. A lot of the noise was worrying and what iffing that just kept getting louder and louder! I now feel I'm not as distracted now to listen to what is actually good for me. Roxette had some good advice when they told us to 'listen to your heart!

I am prioritising things in my life more. The people who prioritise me and are there for me. We waste time on folk who don't always give back or blow hot and cold. Well, I like to know where I am with people because when I open up to someone, I want to know they will still have my back a week, a month and a year later. I'm starting to prioritise myself more too which is lovely. 

With this, hand in hand, is the stability, or stabilitea. Your once, comfy existence of Monday 9 to 5 goes out of the window. Yes, it could be mundane and stressful but it was stable. You knew where you were. You could answer the, 'And what do you do?' question very easily, without having to wrack your brain as to what it is you are actually achieving at the mo. But actually, it shouldn't matter to others what you do. It's more important that you are happy with what you do and where you are in life.

I love this next quote. Yes! We need change! If everything stayed the same from our childhood, teens, twenties and each decade, life would be boring. We need to change and adapt and the more open and flexible we are to this, the better. I've fought for so long against an invisible illness. Like, I should be doing this now and I should have achieved that. Some days, it is an achievement to get out of bed, do a few chores, go for a dog walk and fall back into bed shattered. My thoughts beating myself up. Why are you so tired? You haven't done anything today? Then I remind myself that this is the new me. Be more gentle with her. 

This next one has been a massive need and I have only recently started drinking this cup of Positivity, or positivitea, on a morning and at night. I took tiny sips at first, then big gulps but I am now drinking daily from this refreshing, and warming cup.

My mind does veer back to what it has been used to but I am putting on my positive pants, instead of my negative knickers, every morning now. 

At the end of the day, where does being negative get you? You might feel a bit meh inside, but on the outside, that smile is tlstill there. Love this next quote. It always makes me smile!

We can all wake up in a bad mood, or get angry by something that happens in the day. Like a driver peeping at you or swearing at you. Proper gets me riled that. It stays with me long after. But then, you are just walking around with a dark cloud above you and a flat tyre under you! You're not going to get very far!

I have changed my outlook. For now, and for the future. I am more hopeful. I am, as a lovely friend advised me, being a lot more gentler on myself.

I realise now that berating myself for past things I'd said and done, or not daid and done, was a waste of time. I've learned grom how I reacted to certain events, situations and people. When I was thinking I'd let myself, and others down, it's not a good way to feel. I no longer feel so guilty about how I dealt with things. It's all been a big lesson in life. 

This takes me on to the cup of honesty, or honestea. I am more honest with myself now, and others. I think more about what is good for me. What do I like doing? 

I would put up with so much before. Especially at work. I would nod and say everything was fine, I would go along with things so as not to cause conflict. I pretended I was ok at times as I sometimes felt asking for help was a sign of weakness. All this went against me in the end. I should have spoke up earlier. I have learnt from that and have spoken up if I don't agree or feel uncomfortable with something. It has been hard and out of character. It has lost me friendships which is sad but I refuse to be a mug anymore. The only mug I want is my mug of tea at night!

I have always felt I have had some sort of spirituality, or spiritualitea. It comes from within. I love this quote and I'm starting to set more boundaries.

I've had conversations lately with friends of my age and we've all realised you attract folk to you. How you are, what you bring to the table, how you treat others, has an influence on you making new friends and opportunities arising for you. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am open to new friendships and experiences and I have met some amazing people in the last few years.

Yes, this! It isn't about how long it takes to get back on track, when you feel derailed. It's about how you are realigning. With no time limit, you are less pressured and more open to finding what's right for you, moving forward. Love the idea of realigning yourself with everything. Things stay, some go. It's all part of the realignment!

As part of this realigning and finding your path is the cup of possibilty, or possibilitea. You sometimes feel in limbo, lost, trapped, stuck in a rut and go back to what you know, to what doesn't scare you. But think of all the different possibilites on front of you, just waiting to be tried. They may not be for you, you may fail. But at least you have tried. At least it stops you feeling stuck. And you might just fall in love with your new path!

I know the main immunity or immunitea is a cup of good health, physical health. But it got me thinking about good mental health too. This quote reminds us how our feelings and emotions can affect our health. Goodness, I've seen what stress ans anxiety can do to the body. It's a powerful, destructive thing is stress.

The way we react to outside things such as events out of our control, the criticism from others and the worry of what might happen. All these reactions could be different if we built some immunity up. I've started! I ysed to let a look, a snide comment, a direct criticism really affect me. These small things would build up and tower over me, taunting me. I'd go home from work, analysing what had been said and insinuated. This worrying and analysing took over my life for a while, to where I wasn't myself anymore. I watched my every word, my every action, laughed along with cruel words, just to fit in. I now know, I would never do that again. I hope I have grown an immunity against hurtful put downs, drama queens and jealous people. I never saw it at the time. Perhaps I was too much for these people? 

When we spend a lot of time worrying whaf folk think, we aren't asking the important question, 'What do I think?' Our opininon does matter. I actually do like me, warts and all! You know why? Because I know, deep down, no matter what, I always mean well. Yes, I get it wrong; I misjudge situations and jump in, feet first, regrets later. But I do always have good intentions. Doesn't your own opinion of yourself matter more than folk who probably won't stay in touch with you, those who go talking about you behind your back and those who will never appreciate you, no matter what you do?

I also feel, moving on from this, that loyalty, or loyaltea is so important too. I may have many faults but I am loyal. Probably too loyal at times! It is a biggy for me and I rate it as one of the biggest factors of being a true friend. Loyalty goes a long way and is a two way street.

I am still in touch with a few work friends, right back to 1999 when I started teaching and I never had to question their loyalty. They had my back and I had theirs. Such an amazing thing to know when you are working in a stressful job. Same too with my other friends and family. Without loyalty, there is nothing. For those, who do let you down, they were never really your friends.

And remember. Just as butter and cheese are better real, so is friendship. No artificial flavours in either please. Keep it real! 

The main one I have been searching for is serenitea. I have, over the last few years, felt this urge for calm and peace. I have realised who and what is important.

It's a good word that, avoid. It's a nice way of moving on, gently. Stop going back for more!

I have had enough drama and mind games to last a life time. Why did I keep letting myself get caught up in all this? We are driven by a need to be liked, accepted and to fit in. If we have to play all these games, surely the fitting in is all false?

I am craving more of a simple life. I love following the hygge way of life and I'm at my happiest with family, friends, my dog, books, cuppas and plants.

I was always on the move to the next social event and meet up but I have really slowed down now. I am glad I did what I did and have made so many fab memories but I am enjoying appreciating the slower times and enjoying more own company.