Lockdown Life

Lockdown Life

I've steered clear from writing this blog for too long now. Mainly because I try to focus on the positive on my blog and I wanted to be in the right frame of mind writing it, to do it justice. I didn't want to be assuming feelings and second guessing emotions, belittling anyone's experience. I always try to never compare one person's situation to another. I didn't want to be writing about what seemed trivial when worse things were happening. 

But, looking through my blogs this evening, I feel I need to chronicle this event that has touched all our lives. Perhaps, more an 'at home' glance into daily lockdown life, delving into deeper aspects. I will approach this like I do all my blogs. Honestly, openly, with a sense of humour but also empathy. We've needed empathy in buckets this lockdown!

So here goes!

The other day, my mum made us guess how many days we had been in lockdown altogether. She does this often, like when we were kids. And I love it! We knew it was a big number. A thousand? It's felt longer! Actually, it was Day 300. I always have the voice over man from Big Brother saying this in my head. 

"It's Day 300 in the Lockdown House. You are live on TV. Please do not swear!"

Too blooming late for that mate! I've never sworn as much! Normally the ch*ff word, and normally aimed at inanimate objects that have dropped on the floor! There has been a certain level of unhealthy catastrophising at things that normally wouldn't matter so much. Now, they do. Have you noticed that? You end up noticing stuff about those you are with 24/7 that you overlooked before! You even start getting on your own nerves!

So, over 300 days in lockdown. Nearly a year. Luckily, it wasn't one full stretch and we had the summer of 2020, not got the same ring as the Bryan Adams' song! Where we did our 'Eat out to help out' and boy, did we help out!

Thinking back now, to the first lockdown, it was quite surreal. I personally, did not go anywhere the first two weeks. When we opened our window to take part in the first ever NHS clap, we were overwhelmed by the clapping and cheering, the outpouring of gratitude and support to everyone working so hard against the virus. 

I had to stop writing my blog there. It was just too raw I think. I met my friend the other day, for a dog walk and she mentioned she had nearly wrote a lockdown diary. I said I had started this blog and she inspired me to finish it. Life did change for us last year, in different ways. I feel I need to chronicle some of it. I have made a few word changes to what I originally wrote too. 

It is easier writing about something when we are not in the thick of it. It is easier looking back on it, instead of trying to walk through it, your legs like treacle. That reminds me of this quote I saw. Very like the 'We're going on a bear hunt' book. For me, this has been the way to look at lockdown, maybe harder by the third one! Thinking of words in the story, we couldn't go round, under, over or fast forward it. We had to 'go through it'. And together, that is what we did. 

Mostly together as some people have been selfish and thoughtless. At the beginning, on one of my first shop visits, pre mask, this couple were roaming up and down the one way aisle, picking up stuff like they didn't have a care in the world. This was whilst I, Tom Cruise, Mission Impossible style, had my face close up to a tin of deodorant, breathing in and inwardly cursing them! I did feel better when masks were made compulsory. And they kept my face warm in winter! This quote made me laugh. 

On the whole though, people have rallied together and helped each other. I noticed, on my first daily dog walks, more smiles from folk and good mornings. Like a nod to each other, we will be ok. Those friendly smiles, or a quick chat, socially distanced, in the shop queue, meant so much, at a time when we were missing seeing our family and friends. A bonding that we were all doing it together. The lockdowns were more bonding. The tiers that separated the areas up weren't. Tier 3 looking longingly over to Tier 2, like they had a much better pudding on their plate!

The light at the end of the tunnel was a tiny glimmer and for me, it brightened with the heralding of the vaccines. I felt so relieved when I had my first one about a month ago. I reacted very badly and was very ill but I knew it was something I had to 'get through'. 

The first lockdown now, seems an age away. My family, friends and I have talked about it as if it was some distant planet far away because this year has felt like twenty! We said, even though it was scary and new, the lockdown itself was not as hard as this last one. Helped along by celebrities like Joe Wicks putting on PE sessions! I would listen to my friend DJing the 90s dance tracks, join the wonderful Milly Johnson live on facebook for her lovely chats, make up daft Tik Toks with my daughter in the kitchen, read lots and catch up on TV dramas. No banana bread for us yet though! This quote made me smile!

We live on a lovely cul de sac. Oh, I forgot to mention we moved at the start of the first lockdown. Not recommended! My intake of gin increased that month! Everyone on the cul de sac is so friendly though and we met outside, on our drives for quizzes every so often. Our fave was the VE Day, the street full of bunting. It reminded me of our street party for Charles and Diana in 1981. We, like everyone else, also took part in the weekly zoom quizzes with friends. We should all be so brainy by now! 

I loved that feel of camaraderie amongst the neighbours. Everyone was out clapping too, Thirsday nights at 8pm. Or banging on pans. Whatever, you used, the message was there. Thankyou NHS and all carers. Everyone knew someone working hard and putting themselves at the forefront of this pandemic. So many key workers were out risking their lives. 

The time in between the first and second lockdown now, looking back was a bit of a time out. The virus was still there but it let people be a bit more normal for a short time. The struggle with the pandemic, for me, was the balance between the physical and the mental health. The physical had to come first. It did concern me though, the mental health side. I totally understood and followed what we needed to do but this side worried me too. So many lonely people. Which makes me think of the sad state of care homes and people not seeing loved ones. 

I did actually do some hypnotherapy sessions with the lovely Sonia Swaby Hypnotherapy. I have written a blog about her brilliant work already. Due to the pandemic, most of the sessions were via zoom. We focused on the positive, mindfulness and meditation and this lovely lady really helped me, so much. 

I have read stories, as we all have about the victims of this virus, and their families. I cannot even begin to know what they have truly gone through. Heartbreaking stories. Watching the Kate Garraway documentary for her beloved Derek brought it home to us. There has been so much suffering on such a large scale. When it was the anniversary of the first lockdown, we had our minute's silence and we stood by a floral memorial in the local park. It hit me that we were blessed to be in that park on that sunny day. 

I have tried to keep this positive outlook day to day but some days are easier than others. I have tried to look on the bright side, even though the news was constantly bombarding you with sadness. We can't be cheery 24/7 though. That's just not natural. The media and news were always in the background too. The wash your hands and sing happy birthday is one of my memories. I sang it too! This quote would have been a good reminder!

What helped me was posting on my daily blog. My Good Mornings at first. I did not know whether to post as for some people, it might not have been a good day. The responses I got though, from my followers were so uplifting that I carried on. It was lovely interacting with everyone. I was so used to posting photos of my visits to cafes so instead I posted my own cups and saucers and that has inspired me to get them out from behind the glass and get them used! 

This last year has taught us so much. 

'Life is not a dress rehearsal.'

My goodness, it so is not! Stop practising and waiting for whatever it is that is holding you up. Go get on with it!

As I am writing this, we are into the second day of the third lockdown being eased and shops have opened again. It is lovely to see the small businesses opening their doors again. And eateries and pubs being able to seat customers outside. The other side to this has been people's livelihoods. So many small, and big businesses have closed their doors and won't be reopening this time around. 

If this blog is a little disjointed, it reflects our thoughts and feelings of 2020! I am adding things on as I write it so it might not be as ordered! I feel I don't want to leave anything out! Or any people! We owe so much to many people. Those frontline workers and key workers who have kept things ticking over and kept everything going! I remember going on my dog walks in the first lockdown and loving seeing all the wonderful rainbows the children had painted in windows. Or even chalked on their drives! Such a sign of hope too, the rainbow.

This next artwork on pinterest says so much. We owe a deep gratitude to many workers. I loved the quote 'not all heroes wear capes' because we found heroes in the everyday people. Our family, friends and neighbours who didn't make a fuss but bravely got on with it. And Sir Captain Tom Moore. He was such an inspiration to everyone.

When I look back on this time, I am reminded of how life changed for us all. It was so surreal. The first time I went into town when my fave Old George coffee house opened for take away, we heard the lady on tannoy and it was like a blockbuster movie warning. Things probably won't ever go back to how they were before. This quote makes you think.

The simplicity of the lockdowns, life being peeled back to the basics. Focusing more on the little, everyday rituals and the simple things. 

I feel blessed. I feel we have taken things for granted. I am living in the moment more. I had already started doing so but even more with this pandemic. Soon as we can't do something or see someone, we miss it and them more. Love this quote about not taking things for granted as much. Things like hugging and seeing people in person, celebrating birthdays and special days together and not just having quick prezzy drop offs on the drive! Relationships and friendships in our lives that help us thrive. Catch ups with family and friends, checking up on each other. Oh, and schools. How many parents who went through the home schooling will never take their children's schools and teachers for granted again! Our young children and teenagers have been so resilient. 

Human connection is such an important thing and something I have already written a blog about. Humans do need interaction, at different levels but we still need it to thrive and cope. These lockdowns left us with less of this social therapy. And no hugging! I cannot wait to be able to hug again! 

When we look back on 2020, it will be a part of history. This quote, I had to sing. A good summing up of 2020!

Such a lovely pinterest quote to finish my blog. Hang on in there.